Why I Love Sundays - Being a "Single" Father

For one day each week, everything is perfect.  I don't feel the failures when I'm at the park.  There's no resentment or regret when we're reading.  It's impossible to feel sadness and shame when we're singing, or sliding, or swinging.  Playing with trains and Lego blocks replaces any pain.  Everything wrong is replaced with everything that's right.

Never in a million years could I imagine myself becoming a "single" parent.  I use quotations when saying I'm a "single" parent because I really feel more like a parent who happens to be single.  My sons mother is responsible for the majority of the parenting that's taken place since crashing into the world of co-parenting.  And she's doing it perfectly.

In no way am I raising this beautiful baby boy singularly. Not even mostly, not equally, and not good enough.  If seven days a week wasn't enough time for me to be with my son before, how could a small fraction of that even come close?

But what do you do when you're torn between rebuilding your life, while trying to spend time with your only reason for caring?  How do you discover the type of person you will be moving forward while being the father he deserves today?

When the separation first took place I seriously contemplated whether or not I should even bother trying to continue being the father he deserved now that I wasn't going to be in his life 100%.  How could I face his mother, leave our home, not kiss my son goodnight every night, miss out on many of the things we were going to learn together, yet still be as committed as I was the day he was born??

How do you go from CEO to a part-time temp, with enthusiasm??

These are the thoughts that probably race through the minds of some "single" parents when deciding to part ways.  But, in truth, I soon realized that he needed me now, more than ever.

Though our home may be broken, I refuse to be the reason his heart is as well.  All kids need a father as much as they need a mother.  And, if for only a few hours a week right now, I will be the absolute best father this little boy could ever ask for.  For that one day a week I'm whole, and he's with his daddy.

He taught me that I'm not a single parent, I'm his father.  Something I am always, every second of every day, for the rest of his life.  I love Sunday's, I love being a father - his father - and I love, most of all, that weekly reminder that he too loves his father.

Move On to Move Up

Most people are more comfortable with old problems than new solutions.  This, I believe, is true in many areas of life; relationships, health, profession, finances, etc. etc.

It's not always comfortable to walk away from a situation that we've learned to tolerate and survive in, into a world where we could possibly, maybe even probably, thrive in.

I'm starting to understand and appreciate the value of a closed door more than ever before.  They say that when one door closes, another opens.  I only partially agree with that statement.  The door that opens for us only matters when we actually decide to move on from the closed door, and walk through the new one.  Life is full of doors, windows and walls that we can walk or break through whenever we muster up enough courage.  Regardless of where we are currently, at any time, and at any moment in life.

The time will never be perfect to move on and move up, yet it's almost always the right thing to do.

Seth Godin proclaims that "Winners quit fast, quit often and quit without guilt". 

The bigger mistake is not that we decided to move on, but that we didn't move on sooner.  Sure, hindsight is 20/20, but did we honestly believe that our boss/spouse/health would improve by continuing to do and act the same way that created the mess in the first place?? Rather than Moving On and Moving Up, we committed ourselves to an exercise in futility.

Just quit.  Quit sooner.  And move on. The people and things that are meant to be with us will always find a way to root themselves into our lives.  No matter what.  The people and things that are not meant to be with us will always find a way to fade away.  No matter what.  Just quit, sooner.

Don't bother investing more time into a dead end.  Redirect that energy into more meaningful things - your family, your health, your finances and new relationships.  And if what you're doing isn't working, do something new, something different.  Close that door swiftly and deliberately.  And move to the next one.  It just might be the exact door you've been looking for this whole time.

My Closest Stranger

It's amazing what happens when you mix love with life, or life with love.  It changes people.  Not necessarily for the worst, or the best.  It's just a change.  And the biggest problem with change....its never easy, and its never quite soon enough.

Reading through previous posts, it's amazing how someone who once occupied the largest space in my world, in such a short period of time, can become a stranger.  As corny as it sounds - I immediately hear Gotye's Sombody That I Used To Know streaming through my brain.

There comes a point where you go from being best friends to the most intimate of strangers. Imagine walking past someone on the street one day, and immediately knowing every single thing about them.  Their deepest desires, fears, insecurities. Remembering the moments when you two were the only two people that existed. Recalling, in an instant, every moment that changed your lives for the better.  And in the next instant, remembering the pain they caused that you pray one day will subside.

The same person that will forever hold a place in your life, and in your heart, you now walk right past, refusing to make eye contact with. And then they're gone. You turn a corner, they turn a corner, and you keep walking - running - from an encounter you hope doesn't happen again.  But that you know will.

I suppose its easier that way.  It's easier for us to carve that part of our lives out entirely and pretend that if it never was, it could never be again, it never happened to begin with, and therefore I can't feel it.  We start by flipping this switch inside, shutting off any positive feeling that drags a painful memory behind it.

I say, "Go ahead, flip that switch".....I know it wasn't all bad.  It doesn't change what I know.

When one says "I'm better without them", the other knows "I'm better because of them."
When one says "I deserved better", the other thinks "I wish my best was better."
When one says "I can't believe I stayed so long", the other one simply says "Not long enough".
When one says "I don't need them!", the other knows "I wouldn't have wanted to do it with anyone else."

Go ahead, flip that switch.

To viciously tear out a previous chapter in this novel of our life because it didn't end how we had hoped, seems....well.... foolish to me.  That chapter will just be a part of my life - full of drama, humor, happiness, sadness, disappointments, regret, pain and love.  A lot of love.

That chapter is over, and though it's not worth re-reading, it will always be a part of the story.  Again, it's over. But the rest of the story is just beginning....turn the page.

His Love Story

Once upon a time, there was a boy, and there was a girl.

By accident, or fate, depending on what you believe - their paths crossed.  Two people, with differences and different agendas.  Looking for the same thing, more sure of what they didn't want than what they did want.

Picture the quiet boy on the playground, who sees the popular girl and is not sure what to feel - only that what he feels is new, and something unlike anything he's felt before.

When she sees him, all she knows, in that moment, is that he is feeling what she herself is hoping to feel some day.  Not ready, or willing, to feel this way towards the boy, she simply entertains him.  Or maybe uses him to entertain herself.  She laughs at him, and occasionally with him.  Not one to believe in "the one", she only sees what she allows herself to see.  But as each day goes by she learns there's more to the boy, her eyes slowly opening more and more.

They weren't destined to be be together, nor was it love at first sight.  She was older, more experienced, and more playful.  He was younger, but cynical, and thoughtful.

Everything that worried her, would set him free.  And everything that tied him down, to her was a target.

His temper was short, and her feelings easily hurt.  She saw life through a microscope, and he saw life through a telescope.

Her life was structured.  His life was happenstance.  She saw the best in others.  He cared only about her.  She opened up, and he read her page for page.  A book that had always had his full attention, but that often changed from comedy, to drama, to romance, and back again.  He always liked suspenseful reads.

As days turned to weeks, turned to months, and years went by, they remained together.  Not with ease, but with effort.  When others would have given in, and friends had in fact done just that, they grew stronger.  They learned that together, they could use each others faults and shortcomings as rungs on a ladder to bring them closer to their goals.

His patience, her impatience.  Her responsibility, his vision.

But something was missing.  Something she needed, and something he was looking for.  It wasn't always easy to put their finger on it, that little extra ingredient that takes a relationship from good, to great.  Several times they had simply walked away, doubting that it was worth it.  And each time, he had come back.  Short stints with others, just not measuring up to what they hoped to ultimately have, some day, with each other.

One day, as the future of this boy, now man, hangs in the balances, he thinks about his life, all they've been through, and what lay on the horizon.  And he realizes what he must do, to ultimately make her happy.

It was the last thing he would ever dream of doing.  The one thing they say people aren't capable of doing.

He must leave.

Not her.  But himself.  The man he thought he was, for who she needed him to be.  He must change.  He must grow.  Like a muscle, he must stretch to the point of tearing, in order to be rebuilt, stronger than before.  And then do it again.  And do it until he only recognizes the shell of himself.  Because, in order for him to have something he's never had before, he understands he must become someone he has never been before.

And, like any muscle, it must be worked out regularly.  Today, its progress.  But, tomorrow, it could regress. Only he can decide.  His fuel is her love.  The love that wasn't suppose to be there.  The love that doesn't make sense on paper, but does in purpose.

He understands that his love story, is her story.  And what makes him a man, is knowing when he finds the woman worth reading, and doing everything he can, to finish the story together.

10 Ways To Fail in Love, Life & Business

A large misconception I'm trying to overcome is making it seem like I somehow have it all figured out.  The majority of what I write about comes from a place of guilt and lessons learned the hard way.  Not from an angle of superiority.

My BEST half told me a couple weeks ago that I should write about my failures.  Not what "other people" should do. 

Which is what I thought I was doing.  Sometimes though, saying the same thing in a different way can make all the difference.  So, here we go - 10 Ways to Fail in Love, Life & Business.....from personal experience.



1 - Stop Growing
   John Wooden once said, "Once you think you're through learning, you ARE through!"  I was successful.  I was good at what I did.  I made money, and had the title to go with it.  I was young, had all the superficial stuff that I thought mattered, and took my eye off of what really did.  Learning.  Learning what to do when times get challenging.  How to bounce back.  How to avoid the pitfalls.  How to plan for when I couldn't. No matter how high you get, or how good things seem to be, never, ever stop improving.  Become a life long learner.

2 - Turn Into a Human Trash Compactor
   Ready for the obvious?  What happens when you stop working out?  You get rounder.  What happens when you combine that with eating like a dumpster?  You get rounder, faster.  This is one of those "simple, but not easy" deals.  Work out, and watch what you eat, and you will feel better - in almost every way.

3 - Focus on Yourself
   The entire universe, with one VERY minor exception, is made up of OTHER people.  Focusing on myself was maybe the most destructive thing I've done.  Sure, at times you need to.  But, when you're already a selfish person by nature, and you compound that by ignoring others feelings, you become an impossible person.  People don't want to talk to you, be with you, and they no longer care about you - they simply feel sorry for you, and that's if you're lucky.

4 - Scrap Your Goals
   This world eats people up and shits them out without batting an eyelash.  The "world" doesn't care if you are sick, tired, sad, happy, nervous, afraid or whatever you feel like feeling like today.  It only cares about your value.  Bring value to the day, and your marketplace, and it will reward you.  The second I stopped focusing on my goals, was the second I started to fail.  I didn't know it at the time, because it wasn't instantaneous.  But if I'm not moving towards my objectives, I'm moving away from them.  There is no neutral.  The days I didn't make count are days I wasted, and can't get back.

5 - Forget The Dates That Matter
   Dates, anniversaries, birthdays, or any other day/time that is important.  Go ahead and just forget those.  Don't write them down.  Don't put them in your planner.  Run late, or just blow it off entirely.  This has been a HUGE downfall of mine.  I used to think that those kinds of events just didn't matter that much.  What I wasn't grasping was that it didn't matter because I made it not matter.  I could have made that date night, that birthday, that weekend mean the world to her.  But I didn't.  Because it didn't matter.  It wasn't that important.  I'm learning now that it can matter a whole hell of a lot, if I remember, care, and MAKE it matter.

6 - Live Reactively
   Sitting back, waiting for things to happen, and then deciding what I would do, say or think is a recipe for disaster.  In a relationship, and most things in life, you need to take the bull by the horns sometimes.  Be proactive.  When I did little in advance, and refused to take a "pay it forward" approach, opportunities were missed.  They say it's never too late to do the right thing.......sometimes it is.
7 - Refuse To Own It
   All of it.  Now, I'm not talking about the cars and the clothes and that kind of crap.  I'm talking about owning all of whatever comes your way.  The good.  And definitely the bad.  I wasn't failing, it was the economy, the marketing company, the sales reps, the demographics....blah, blah, blah.  Yet, when it was going well, guess who was taking all the credit??  Yours truly.  Only when I owned my failures and took total 100% responsibility for them did I turn a significantly important corner.

8 - Never Apologize

   There are a few words that I honestly regret not saying every single day.

• I'm sorry
• You were right
• I was wrong
• I love you
• I appreciate you
• Thank you

Along with the other things that we, as individuals, just love to hear.  Its amazing how my ego/pride/stubborness has prevented me from saying 2-3 words that could make a huge difference in someone elses day.  Whether you're a family member, friend, co-worker, etc. I screwed up when I kept my mouth shut during those now obvious moments.  For that, I'm sorry.

9 - Make Excuses
    Maybe this is an extension of refusing to take ownership.  Either way, it's worth exploring further.  There are excuses, and then there are reasons.  I chose to live a life with more excuses then reasons.  From the small things, like not doing more around the house because I was tired.  To the larger things, like justifying mistreatment of someone I care about because I was in a "bad mood".  We can justify and convince ourselves of whatever we want.  "I'm out of shape because I work too much."  "I don't have time for that because _______."  or "That's not my job".  Are all things I've allowed to leave my mouth and wish I could take back. 

If I could, I'd go back and remind myself that those are REASONS, not excuses.  Because I have a lot to do, I need to finish up more "honey-do's" around the house.  Or BECAUSE I work hard, I need to make sure that I'm in better shape. 

To be successful, truly successful, I needed to start to turn more of my excuses into reasons.

10 - How You Do Anything Is How You Do Everything
   If I procrastinate in one area, I'll likely procrastinate in most areas.  If I'm disorganized at home, I'll likely be disorganized at work.  If I'm inconciderate to one person, I'll justrify being that way to others.  I needed to understand that the type of person I want to be is not part of my genetic make up, but a result of habit and practice, and a conscious effort to be that way. 

Happy people are happy because they choose to be happy.  Healthy people aren't born healthy - they get their healthy asses in the gym.  If you really think you can differentiate how you are in one area of your life, and seperate that from other areas, you might be making the same mistakes I've made for years. 


They say there are a handful of ways to be more successful, and a million ways to fail.  If it's true that the most successful people on Eart are the ones who've failed the most, the fastest - then I must be making some serious progress!  I hope you are as well, and are willing to share......

18 Ways to Be A Better Man

This is not an attempt at making it seem like I have life figured out.  Don't fear; I will not be getting overly emotional or challenge you to "dig deeper" while summoning my inner Paulo Coelho.  You don't need me to tell you to explore the deepest crevices of your spiritual being until you locate the child-like version of yourself so you two can cry together.......huh?  This isn't complicated.  There are simple ways to be a better man, and this will probably serve more as an admission of guilt than as a tutorial.....

#1 - Stop Acting So Tough
       Yea, I'm talking to you psycho guy in the red mustang that's driving like a maniac because the soccer mom in front of you is doing the speed limit.  Relax.  Refusing to cry, being unable to show emotions, or hating kittens doesn't make you a tough guy.  It makes you an asshole.

#2 - Wear A Suit Once In Awhile
      Whether you work on Wall Street, or you're a mechanic, nothing is better than putting on a well made, tailored suit. It's Saturday night, you're about to enjoy a night out with your better half and you're trying to decide between those dirty khaki's with that wrinkled button down, or your dirty khaki's with your Jets jersey......Knock it off.  You're a grown man.  Dress like one. You may think wearing a well-fitted, classy looking suit is not your style......but I bet you she would say differently.

#3 - Learn Something New
     The older I get the more I understand how it is that people get complacent.  Life is tough sometimes.  And sometimes old problems are more comfortable than new solutions.  Challenge yourself to learn something new.  Something you never thought you'd know how to do:  a sushi class, a foreign language, how to scuba dive, paint, an instrument, etc.  It's amazing how little we actually know.

#4 - Stop Competing With Everyone About Everything
     - Nobody cares that you're better than them at something.  Actually, it makes them feel bad about themselves.  Now, maybe that's your goal sometimes - to beat some body at something.  And I'm all for that.  But to beat your six year old into submission over a game of Connect Four is unnecessary.  You know that guy who always wants to one-up everyone?  Everyone hates him......Don't go through life competing with everyone about everything. 



#5 - Do More Than What You Get Paid For
     -  There's a saying that goes, "If you never do more than what you get paid for, you'll never get paid more for what you do."  It's cliche', but when was the last time you under-promised on something and over delivered?

#6 - Spend More Time With Your Family
     - I'm constantly trying to balance work-life and business with family time.  But the numbers are against me.  Eight to nine hours a day at work, sometimes more, and an hour or two per day with the baby during the week.  I know this is typical for most families that require a breadwinner or two.  But the average American now watches TV for six hours a day, works eight hours, and sleeps eight hours......I'm not a math wiz, but can someone explain to me a) how this is logistically possible if you have an eight month old  and b) when you even acknowledge your family or children???  During commercials??

#7 - Stop Staring At Every Girl That Walks By
     - Seriously.  It's creepy, borderline disrespectful, and the decent ones hate it.  Some of us use whistling, facial expressions and our car horns like its some sort of mating call.  Good luck with that.  Talking to you again dude in the red mustang, blasting Pit Bull, with your faux-hawk.....you're a real catch, I'm sure.

#8 - Live Passionately
     - Life is so much more than football, cars, and women (I know, hard to believe).  Its ok to be passionate about those things, but expand your horizon.  Be interesting by being interested.

#9 - Be Ridiculous Sometimes
     -  Don't take yourself so seriously.  Nobody else does.  Especially if you have children.  One of the biggest things that I've learned since becoming a father is that it's totally ok to act like a damn fool.  He doesn't hold it against me, or think I'm being annoying (yet).  He just laughs hysterically.  Mission accomplished.

#10 - Don't Tattoo Your Face
      -  Really no need to elaborate.  But I'd like to add the following to that list; tramp stamps, neck tattoos, someones name, a tear drop, a Chinese symbol, Osama Bin Laden's face, or a tribal tattoo.  They're all stupid.  And you'll regret it.  Or you're in jail - which you'd probably would rather not be in.

#11 - Remember What Your Mom Taught You
      - Chivalry isn't just dead.  It was murdered, brought back to life, then poisoned before being stoned to death by clowns.  It's bad.  Real bad.  What happened to opening doors, saying please/thank you, or yes ma'am and yes sir??  You still shouldn't chew with your mouth open, bite your nails, dirty your clothes, and is it too much to ask you to slide a chair in for her??  It's amazing we get as many of them to agree to a second date, let alone marry us.  Wait...... the divorce rate is what???!!

#12 - Compliment People More Often
       - We all know someone who just lifts people up.  They aren't interested in themselves, and seem genuinely interested in what's going on in your world.  Not only are they interested in your mundane day-to-day activities, but they're impressed by it.  Again, GENUINELY.  I don't get it, but if you think that it's awesome that I ironed my shirt, or scored tickets to a Heat game, I'll take it!  And so will others. 

#13 - Get Your Finances and Health Under Control
       - There is nothing more debilitating than being unable to enjoy life because of a lack of money or poor health.  Poverty and illness aren't things that happen to you.  More often than not, they are things that happen because of you.  Pay now and play later, or play now and pay later......either way you have to pay.  Be proactive with both.  Nobody put a limit on what your net worth can be.  There is nobody preventing you from living healthier besides you.

#14 - Learn To Disconnect
       -  There's a commercial out now where a group of guys jump in their truck and head out for a weekend in the wilderness.  The further they drive off the beaten path the worse their cell phone signal gets.  Until, finally, their phone says "No Service".  At which point, they park, start unloading the truck and say "Finally!".  It's honestly been years since I was totally disconnected......and I miss it.  From one man to another, nobody cares about where you're checking in from, or that tweet you sent out about Dancing With The Stars.  40% of iPhone users say they'd rather give up brushing their teeth for a week then their phone.  Seriously?? 

#15 - Listen To Her
      -  I know.  It's hard.  She wants to talk about the new girl at her office that came in with a plaid skirt (OMG....So gross!), and you just walked through the door.  Now, maybe in this instance it's not going to bite you in the ass, but one day, it will.  We're men.  We like to act.  Not talk, or share feelings.  I get it, and I'm with you.  But she needs it.  And if you don't want to listen to her, trust me, someone else will.

#16 - Stop Walking Around With Your Bluetooth In Your Ear
       - You aren't talking to anyone.  You're just standing in line at Starbucks.  You're not even on the phone.  I don't walk around with my golf clubs because I might use them at some point.  Why are you walking around looking like a blinking idiot and you're just buying groceries??  Are you on a conference call that's of the utmost importance?? 

#17 - Know How To Catch, Clean and Cook the Fish
       -  This world is mostly divided up into two types of men.  Men who can cook and gut a fish but only know how to fry it in beer batter and cigarette butts.  And men who think fish are icky, but would love to prepare it with a bed of fresh spring greens and a raspberry vinaigrette.  Wow.  If you can do one, you can do the other.  Trust me.

#18 - Do The Right Thing, and Don't Complain
       -  I've always felt like an old soul in some ways.  I know older people feel like our generation has it so easy these days.....and they're right.  In the "good ol days" you worked hard, took care of your family, did the right thing, and never complained about it.  Today, we want to cut corners, bail on our responsibilities, do what's easy, and then bitch about it.  Any one can quit and complain, but it takes a real man to do the right thing, even when it's not easy, and not have a Facebook meltdown about it.

This will likely be an ever-evolving list.  What do you think makes a man a real man?

Not Getting What You Deserve

I've peed on the seat before.....honestly, I've missed the seat entirely a few times.

I've pretended that I didn't see the person rushing to make it onto the elevator, just so I didn't have to share a confined space with them. 

One time, a homeless guy was panhandling at an intersection while I was at a red light and I rolled down the window to give him a buck.  While he was limping over to the car, the light turned green, and I didn't feel like waiting......So I left him there without giving him the dollar.

Since becoming a father, I actually think an even larger percentage of babies are uglier than I did before.

I think fat people are funny.  Not just because they're fat, but in general.  They make me laugh.

I've blamed my cell phone provider for keeping me from having countless conversations with people I don't want to talk to.

I'm critical, sarcastic, impatient, and consider myself smarter and better looking then the majority of people I meet on a daily basis.  Unless you're an existing or potential client.  Then you're I consider you Ken Jennings and George Clooney's love child.

Everyone says, "Nobody is perfect".  That's me.  I'm not perfect, not even close.  I'm not a perfect father to our son.  I'm not a perfect employee to my company.  I'm not a perfect partner to my girlfriend.  Shit, sometimes I'm just downright bad at those things.

Yet, here I am in Norcross, GA (no offense, but why do you choose to live here?) on a work trip, thinking to myself about how lucky I am, in spite of myself.  I hear people bitch about not getting what they deserve, and if you really think about it, how many of us get EXACTLY what we deserve??  Probably very few, if any.  And if we did....we probably wouldn't want it.

In spite of my sarcasm, and urge to punch snow birds (elderly transplants, not an actual bird. - that would just be rude), I have a beautiful, hard working girlfriend that I don't always deserve.  A happy, healthy and perfect baby boy that I can't believe will call me daddy soon.  I have a job and all the opportunity in the world to better myself and my families quality of life. 

Instead of focusing on all we don't have, do what I do, try to be a little bit less of an asshole today, and stay grateful for all that you do have.  Cheers to not getting everything in life we actually deserve.

Have You Seen Me?

The gym is that place that single people, or divorcees go to.  The mall is for teeny-boppers, retirees, and people who care too much about Apple products.  The local beach might as well be an exotic island reserved for honeymooners.  You have a better chance of landing on Mars than you do going out, say to a night club, your favorite restaurant, sporting event, or anything else resembling a "night out".

This, my friends, is what it means to be the parent of a newborn.

Sure, maybe my abs have disintegrated over the past two months.  And I'm pretty confident that I haven't ironed a single item of my wardrobe in as much time.  No, I did not get into a fist fight.....that's what happens when you don't get 8 hours of sleep for two months.  You just look like that.

I may not recognize myself anymore, but I found something that made all the above worthwhile - my son recognizes me.  Now you may be thinking that this is the point where I tell you that it's not that hard, or that nothing else in the world matters when you see them smile.  You'd be wrong.  Let me give you the straight and narrow on new parenting.

- Your life, as you knew it, is over.  Just accept it.  Your new life is different.  Great....but different.
- You're lucky if you get to eat, sleep, shower, shit, get dressed, make coffee, etc. when you WANT to.
- There will be a lot of crying....some of which from the baby.
- When your wife/better half gives you a look that suggests she may want to kill you in your sleep, it's probably because she wants to kill you in your sleep.
- Changing a shitty diaper isn't really that bad unless you're changing said diaper and they're still shitting.
- The only thing precious about bath time is when it's over.
- The kid is king....followed by caffeine.
- Having a nanny becomes more exciting than having a Ferrari.
- Get used to saying, "Has it been two hours already!?!?" and "He just ate!"
- Pretending you didn't hear them cry so that you're not the one to have to wake up doesn't work.
- If given the option of changing the diaper or giving them a bottle...always go with the diaper.
- Your friends without kids are replaced with people you don't like nearly as much, but who also have kids.
- The value of babysitting will surpass the price of gold starting week 2.
- When they sleep, you sleep.....oh wait, that's right, you have shit to do.  Nevermind.
- Keep saying to yourself, it gets easier, it gets easier, it gets easier.
- The day your baby makes landfall you become exponentially more paranoid....which is still nothing in comparison to how paranoid mom will be.
- You will think your kid is the cutest, most amazing kid in the world.....but he's not.....ours is.

I allowed myself to think, just for a second, while writing this, about what my life was like prior to becoming a father (it's better to forget).  Would I give up the most amazing thing I've ever done or made?  Would I trade our son's laugh for eight hours of sleep?  Would I trade all that we will experience as a family, together, for anything I could have experienced alone?  Would I rather work 10 hours straight than give my son a bath?  Would I trade the chance to become my son and his mothers hero for more free time?

No.

Being a father isn't easy.  But it is worth it.  Change your expectations, and let them show you what really matters in life.

Pointless Parenting Advice

A-holes are like advice for new parents.....or is it advice for new parents are like A-holes....??  I guess it doesn't really matter, either way, everyone has advice, most of which is either obvious, or total crap.

Don't get me wrong, I'm no expert.  I certainly don't know everything, or what to expect when our little guy arrives.  But, unless you're a doctor, Super Nanny, Jesus, or we seek you out personally for information - keep it to yourself.

I'm sure all parents, especially new ones, can relate to what we're going through. The abundance of unwarranted advice from every family member, neighbor and even random passerby when they learn you're expecting is causing me to feel colicky.

Your knowledge and skill sets do NOT grow in direct proportion to the number of children you have.  See:  Octomom/Duggar Family.  Oh, you have 3 kids!  That's so great. I'm happy for you and your family, I really am.  But, if you tell me one more time about how I'm probably not going to get as much sleep I'm probably going to kick you in the throat.  I'm aware.  And, more importantly, I don't care!

We're excited.  Better yet, we're elated.  As happy as we've ever been in our lives.  A feeling that will probably only be surpassed by the baby actually being here.  The same one that we are totally aware is going to shit, eat, sleep, cry, not sleep, shit some more, grow up, turn into a teenager, etc, etc, etc. And we can't wait.

We know there will be ups, and most certainly downs.  That's not just parenting.  That's life.

Maybe I just don't like negativity.  Maybe writing about how much I hate negative people is hypocritical. Not sure.  What I am sure of though is that I didn't need to be told that I will need to buy a lot of diapers, how much they cost, that breastfeeding is healthier, that touching a hot stove will burn them, and that a car seat needs to be installed properly.

So, unless you are solicited for specific advice or an opinion, feel free to just give us that look of "you have no idea what you're in for", mentally shake your head at us, and say something positive, like, "You guys are going to be great parents.  Cheers!"

I'd gladly take fake reassurance over another comment about how my golf game is going to take a hit for the remainder of the pregnancy.

Sh*t First Time Fathers Say/Think

You know that saying, "You don't know what you don't know"?  It was created because of first-time fathers and new parents. Stuff you never thought about, that you didn't think you had to think about consume your thoughts nowadays.

The amount of info that begins to clutter your mind once entering the parenting universe makes you feel like a mental hoarder.  It's real, and we're aware there's a lot of crap piling up.  We do our best to act like its really not that bad, but internally we're panicking about where to even start.

And a little voice in the back of our mind asks, "How did it get THIS bad?"  or  "You didn't know this was a problem?"

Moms-to-be, listen carefully - It's not that we're not listening to you, its just that we're trying to listen to you AND ourselves, at the same time.

Not sure if your guy is engaged in a mental tug-of- war with himself??  Here's an easy way to find out:  Start talking to him about the baby shower and/or redecorating the baby's room, then, out of nowhere, ask him what he thinks.....

If he straightens up, starts oddly touching his own face, avoiding eye-contact, and says, "Uh, whatever you want babe"....he's not all there.

We're excited....and confused.  Almost in equal amounts.

Some of the Sh*t First Time Fathers Say/Think would include, but are not limited to:

• What in the world is maple-syrup urine disorder?
• "So how long after the baby is born before we can, you know....?"
• Does the hospital have free wi-fi?
• I wish they sold diapers by the pound
• "What do you mean we have to point "it" down??"
• "So how much longer before we can, you know...?"
• Where can I get an infant sized tuxedo?
• Is it legal to pump in public?
• Is it still organic if its not certified?
• "So what exactly is cord blood, and why does it cost that much?"
• "Yea, of course I think a baby wipe warmer is a necessity"
• I think my son would win the Hunger Games
• I'll just sleep when he naps
• "Lactation class??  Yea, I'd love to go with you to that!"
• "Was that him kicking?  What about that?  Was that it?  There? How about now?"
• "Of course I'll make you pancakes, won-ton soup and ice cream for dinner!"
• "Are you sure it hasn't been six weeks yet??"

What are some impossible, funny, ridiculous things you thought or said as a debut daddy!!??

I'm Going To Be A Lame Dad....I Hope

I'm cool.  At least I think I'm cool.  My girlfriend thinks I'm cool.  I know my mom thinks I'm great.  I'm in my so called prime, and I'm only getting better.  But I've recently come to the realization that its only a matter of time before our son will think I'm a square (which I'm sure nobody says anymore).

If you're a parent, and you've survived raising teenagers, I need your advice.  How do you go from being Super Dad and Mom to old, out of fashion intruders??

I know I'm fighting the laws of the universe, but is there any chance that our son will think I'm as cool when he's sixteen, as he hopefully does when he's four??  And more importantly, do I even WANT to be a "cool dad"??

I remember being a teenager myself, and if you had "cool parents" it meant you had parents that let you do whatever the hell you wanted to do.  Many of these same kids became addicted to drugs, struggled to graduate even the simplest of classes, and are still struggling to find their place many years later.

One of my favorite sayings is, "Learn to give your kids roots and wings, instead of loot and things".  Roots to keep them grounded and humble, and wings that still lets them know they can be whatever and whoever they want.  In a world where kids are being taught to take, take, take in exchange for very little - I'd rather be firm and lame while having their respect, than spoil them, stunt their growth yet seem cool.  I just have to accept the fact that they'll hate us sometimes, but will still love us no matter what.

I'm never going to be that dad who smokes pot with his son (which happens more than you think).  Or rides around with him on my Harley.  I don't want to go to a concert with him, or play beer pong together.  I'll probably hate his music, his choice of clothing, his hair style.  And I'm sure the feeling will be mutual.

Sure, I'm not always going to seem like Superman to him.  But maybe when he's older he'll still appreciate the things that make me and mom cool.  Our uniqueness, independence, work ethic, style, love of food, travel and music.  If you think about it, how could he NOT think his dad is dope, and his mom is da bomb.......crap......I'm screwed.

Our Son, In 26 Years

I wish I could see the future.

For myself - Where am I? What am I doing? How happy am I? Am I successful, healthy, wiser?

For my girlfriend -  Are we married.....nevermind, yes, we're definitely married.  Are we happily married? Is she spending her time how she wants to spend it?  Is she proud of her husband? Are we going where we want to go, when we want to go, and how we want to go?

For our son - What's he like? What's he into?  Is he like his dad? His mom? A little of both? Where does he live? What does he do for a living?  Is he happy, motivated, positive?  Does he look up to his parents?

I'm not a visionary, but I do know how I can all but guarantee that our son is living life the "right" way.  In fact, there's only one way.  And that's to be an example our son would be proud to emulate.

Simple question - "If my son or daughter were living how I'm living, would I be ok with that?"  I said simple - not easy.  That could certainly be a painful question for some.  I know for me there are certain things I would want him to copy, and certain things I would hypocritically teach him not to do.

I don't know what the world will be like when our son is my age, but I do know what type of world I'd like to create for him.  That part is up to me and mom.  We're responsible for shaping the type of man he'll hopefully grow into.  Its our job to imagine who we want our son to become, and then get busy being that!

Who's Raising Who?

We're now officially passed the half-way point of the pregnancy.  And when I say "we" I mean "her".  I'm exactly as far along physically as I was 22 weeks ago.  Mentally?  Well, that's a different story.

Is it normal to gauge every decision on whether or not we would find it acceptable if our children were acting the same way?  When I find myself getting bent out of shape over something, I simply ask myself, "How would you feel if your son were reacting the same way to a similar circumstance?"  

Its become not just about being proud of myself, but being someone I not only want my son to be proud of, but someone he would be proud to emulate.  Isn't it strange how we grow up seeking our fathers approval, and then raise children that we hope are also proud of us?  Its a cycle that continues from generation to generation, from father to son, and so on and so on.

I've already started noticing the differences in my personality since finding out about impending fatherhood.  He's not here quite yet, but here's what I've learned so far:

1. Our son will fill up a diaper, whether I enjoy the smell of excrement in the morning or not.  He doesn't need to adjust, I need to.
2. They say 93% of communication is non-verbal.  Well that's not going to cut it considering 100% of their communication is non-verbal early on.  I've learned how to voice my opinion well, but acting out opinions in a game of baby charades is going to be a new experience.
3. Mom is always right.  Enough said.
4. My role is ever evolving.  There will be times when I need to play housekeeper, and times when I need to be the "boss", still second to Mom, but a boss nonetheless.  Being flexible is key.
5. Being stupid is also ok.  If I need to put face paint on, bark like a dog, or dress up like Santa, than thats the breaks.  Being stupid for our sons enjoyment?  Priceless.
6. Sleep is overrated.  I don't sleep much to begin with, which should help once baby makes landfall.  I'm being told I will have a new found respect for sleep once the baby is here.  We'll see.
7. Being a "Stay At Home CEO" is going to be a huge advantage, with some disadvantages, all at once.
8. Mom is always right.  Worth repeating.
9. There will probably be a day where baby, Mom and dog are all crying, upset, and hungry.  My mission, which I've already accepted, is to be the cooler head.  Its my job to put one to bed, sooth another, and feed the remaining......in no particular order.
10. Its possible to read everything about fatherhood, and know absolutely nothing, yet feel excited about it at the same time.  

I still remember the first time I felt the baby kicking......well, not exactly kicking.  I've been feeling flutters for weeks, and the butterflies are in a frenzy for sure.  Its almost like interviewing for a job that you've already been hired for, that you're not entirely sure if your suited or prepared for.  You're grateful for the job, couldn't imagine not having it, but know there will be moments when you question your ability.  But the best approach - jump in head first, mom in one hand, baby in the other.  If this isn't "On-The-Job Training" I don't know what is.

New Parents Scared Straight

We are to parenthood, what hurricane warnings are to Floridians.  The scare tactics companies (and close friends and relatives) use once learning we were having a baby boy are disrespectful, rude, imposing, negative.....and effective.

If there's not a YouTube video for "Crazy Sh*t New Parents Say", there should be...and there probably will be. With each week that passes by my partner in parenting gets a little bigger, slightly less mobile, and even more gorgeous than I thought possible.  She's amazing, and in spite of a full plate (sometimes literally) she's avoided binge eating on pickles, and hasn't had a serious case of morning sickness to date.  The one downside - as the due date nears, "our" fears grow alongside it.

I say "ours" en quote because I didn't even know we were suppose to worry about many of these things.  It's the classic case of "you don't know what you don't know" syndrome.  While I was skipping along ignorantly in bliss-land, she was consuming every baby book, magazine and newsletter available to her.  Most of which are filled with extremely helpful information that I'll learn the hard way, I'm sure.  I still think I prefer that method over the scared straight program aimed at unsuspecting new parents like myself.  Things I know for a fact that OUR parents and grandparents never had to consider.....and are likely laughing over at this very moment.

Here's my list of  "Ridiculous Sh*t New Parents Have To Worry About in 2012":

- Crib bumpers are now a serious health hazard, and even banned in certain states.

- Multiple air bags in car seats.....which should only be installed by a fire fighter, or someone certified to install baby car seats, who has at least 6 children of their own.

- Air quality in the baby's room.  And stressing the importance of an air purifier and humidifier in their room.  What's next?  The Toddler Sauna System by Whirlpool??

- Anything and everything that moves needs anti-lock breaks.  That means strollers, bassinets, swings, those bouncy seats, etc.  Until they reach the age of 5....at which point we just put the wheels directly into their shoes.

- Motion sensors under their mattress to detect lack of movement.....isn't the whole point of a mattress to get them to stop moving?

- Organic bed sheets, clothes, soap...and everything for that matter.  If its not organic they may morph into some type of mutant zombie baby.

- Baby wipe warmers, because parents prefer a diaper change to more closely resemble a spa experience for their little one.

- High chairs with or without the iPod dock??  As if getting kids to eat healthy wasn't hard enough - now we have to make sure their pureed carrots come with a touchscreen tv. (Not happening)

- Aroma baby bath salts.

I should probably mention that as much as I make fun of all the insanity that comes along with parenting warnings, I've bought into most of them.  I figure organic baby food may cost more, and may not make a huge difference, but if it helps even a minuscule amount - why wouldn't I?  I guess that's why we fall into most of these traps.  The majority of "New Age Parents" gladly pay the price associated with being paranoid parents.  The risk of doing nothing is too great.

Sure, my parents probably had no idea that warm wipes were more comfortable for me as a baby....but they probably didn't care either.  Not in a bad way, but in a "you'll be fine without all that jazz" kind of way.  I'm not sure if it's totally out of hand yet - but it's certainly heading in that direction.  I'm all about safety and using technology to improve the growth of our children.  But more than anything else I fear over technology, a lack of self reliance, and over coddling kids these days.

What are some of your legitimate fears, and some that you're sure are overboard?

Week 6 of 26: WOD in The AM = FML

Completing the Workout of the Day, or "WOD", is a challenge in itself.  Completing the WOD at the 6, 7 or 8 AM slots is cruel and unusual punishment.  I envy those of you who can jump out of bed, and into workout gear before the sun is shining.  And I'm one of those people who doesn't sleep much to begin with.  I'm totally functional with 3-5 hours of sleep.  But swapping out the part of my morning dedicated to coffee and reading for burpees, box jumps and kettle bell swings is just not natural.

With less than five months until our little man is born, my schedule is becoming more and more demanding.  My normal 2:00 and 4:00 work out sessions have been pushed aside for extra appointments and meetings with clients.  In my head I told myself, "No problem, people workout in the morning every day."  After all, I'm up by 6:00 anyway, so an 8:00am workout should be no sweat.  Boy was I wrong.

Working out before my body (or my mind) is prepared is like water-boarding while still under the blankets.  OK, maybe that's a little extreme or dramatic.  But for those of you who have made early morning exercises a part of your daily routine, congratulations.  I'm looking more forward to pre-dawn diaper changes than I am 7am WOD's.

Aside from adding an early morning workout to my schedule, I've also already gained 4 pounds.  Some say of "mass", I'm saying of muscle....Pure. Muscle.  Four pounds in 6 weeks is better than I was expecting, but I still have 16 pounds to go, and 20 more weeks to do it in.  Maybe I've bitten off more than I can chew.  Or maybe I need to just continue biting off more than I can chew.  See what I did I there?

164 lbs (+4 lbs total)


Any sage advice for Crossfitting in the AM???  

Out Of The First Trimester, and Into The Fire

Having your first child hits each person differently and at different times.  For some, it might be the second you see a positive test result.  For others, maybe it's not until the baby is delivered.  For me, it was somewhere in between all of that.

Regardless of when the parenting chip kicks in, we all find ourselves going through a roller coaster of emotions, most of which (for men especially) are totally new and foreign.  I went from being a care-free, cock-eyed optimist to being an overly paranoid slightly schizophrenic father-to-be.  I never even paid much attention to children while out in public until I found out I was joining their club.  Now, with absolutely zero parenting experience, I find myself judging and critiquing others parenting abilities in ways that don't even make sense. ....

"Honestly, who straps their kid into the stroller like that!?"  

"Hmmm, hey babe, is it me or are they intentionally trying to make their kid look like Pauly-D??" 

"Oooo, look, look at this lady try and feed her kid goldfish!!  HAHA, you call that feeding???"

"Wow, chicken nuggets??!! You might as well start auditioning her for The Biggest Loser for Toddlers Season 7 now!"

Not sure if I'm the only one who felt that the first trimester would never pass, but now that we're half way through the second trimester, I can hardly keep up.  The list of honey-do's is steadily growing, almost in direct proportion to my lady's stomach.  As uneasy as the first 3 months made me feel, the next 6 are going to be amazingly hectic.  And though I'm sure every parent reading this is saying to themselves "You aint seen nothing yet!", I am already bracing for impact with one hand, and multi-tasking with the other.

High-Five Friday from the Little Man!

I should probably mention something about how all of this has nothing to do with my better half, who has been nothing but amazing over these past 19 weeks.  She's been calm 99% of the time, never gorging herself on pickles or unnecessarily hurling expletives or canned goods in my direction. She focuses on how to redecorate the little guys room, while still working out and an insane schedule, all at the same time.  I don't blame her for making sacrifices in order to continue doing the things that make her feel a sense of normalcy during all the chaos.  And if it means me taking cold showers now and again in order for her to sleep, than so be it.  Sex is SO overrated anyway.....SH*TF%CKBAST&RDMOTH#REFFDEARGODWHY??!!.....ahhhhhh, that's better.

How would we (men) be if we were in their shoes?  Hmmm, maybe this is a subject in itself, but what do you think would be the biggest difference??  What positive/negative traits would we develop upon finding out we were now plus one, and eating on their behalf??  

We still have a ways to go, and even though we're in the middle of an amazingly beautiful and terrifying fire, I'm learning that I have the ability to either fan the flames with my stupidity, or heroically rescue her from the blazing inferno known as planning for first time parenthood. 

It's Just Toothpaste - Bottle-Necking My Relationships

How many of our "strengths" could also be viewed as "weaknesses"?  Are there beliefs or ideals in our lives that we wear like badges of honor, that should probably be treated as scarlet letters?

I'm stubborn - to say the least.  In business, that can (sometimes) be very beneficial.  It helps me to hold onto my strongest pursuits, in spite of any difficulties or challenges.  It keeps me steadfast at times where it's crucial that I not give up.

However, the same traits that are (in my opinion) helping me grow professionally, can really screw things up personally.  Glen Beaman once said, "Stubbornness does have its helpful features.  You always know what you're going to be thinking tomorrow." - That's not good, by the way.

Let's say you possess a strong work ethic, for example.  This positive habit has served you well in the work place.  But the higher you advance in your career, the larger the toll it takes on your relationship with your family, and maybe even your health.  The same things that bring you up in one area, can bring you down in another.

I'm finding that being stubborn can really stunt the growth of a relationship.  I'm quick to argue - sometimes over meaningless things - just to prove a point.  Add to that the fact that I'm a Leo, and what you get is someone who is up for a fight, and rarely willing to back down.  Add another Leo into the mix, and you get a relationship that sometimes feels like its strapped to a case of C-4, with each of us holding a match saying, "You think I wont???"

The best way I can describe my personality is with the classic Clint Eastwood as Dirty Harry clip, where he says, "Go ahead, make my day."

I've literally just finished Googling "how to stop being a stubborn boyfriend" - which yielded 4,360,000 results - none of which were helpful.  The first step towards change is admitting you have a problem.  Listen, I have a problem, and I'm as aware of it as the people it effects.  But what to do??

The easy answer is to start backing down, be more humble, less aggressive and take a back seat approach.  They say men don't change, and that women shouldn't expect them to.  I couldn't agree less with such an age old adage.  I believe the right people, in the right situation, will willingly change, for the BETTER, for one another.  One of my favorite sayings is, "You take care of you for me, and I'll take care of me for you."

This is my attempt to "Take care of me".  Apologizing would be so easy, if I just didn't have to say "I'm sorry".  Arguing would seem so much less appealing, if I didn't feel like I needed to "win" at everything.  Making a meaningless point wouldn't be important, if I didn't care about the score.

Obviously I have a lot to think about, and even more to learn.  But how many of us have held onto traits that really only hold us back?  Sure it effects us individually, but it also has a significant impact on those closest to us.  I'm learning, albeit slowly and painfully, that I need to stop competing, and start completing.  Squeezing the toothpaste from the middle of the tube, in the grand scheme of things, isn't a big deal, right?  And I'm learning to not care about the score, and just enjoy how lucky I am to be playing the game with someone who makes me better.  I'd rather concede and be the happiest man and father alive, than be conceited and alone.

A Pug and Our Pregnancy

Playing the fiddle sucks.  Other than the triangle, there may be no lamer instrument.  Playing third fiddle....well, that's as low as it gets.  And ever since the lady and I found out we were having our first child, I was knocked out of the starting lineup, and into the role of full-time fiddling.

The pecking order seems out of whack lately, thanks to the pug.  They say that dogs can sense a pregnancy.  And ours is acting stranger than usual.  He spends his time now one step behind mom, looking at me with disgust, out of the corner of his smug pug face. It's as if he's thinking, "Look at you!  Look what you did. Now I need to step in and make sure the dog sh*t doesn't hit the fan.  Do you even know how to raise a child??  Didn't think so - so why don't you just go fill my bowl or fetch the paper or something.  Make yourself useful, while I keep mom entertained."

And the worst part of it all....there's nothing I can do about it.  While mom is prepping herself for motherhood and baby showers, the pug is protecting her, offering all the support she needs.  He just crept right in, and took my starting spot, before I had a chance to defend myself.

I'm left wandering around the house like some tourist in a foreign country where everyone speaks a language I don't understand.  "Food....I think I want food.  I will walk to the kitchen now and look for food.  Then I will eat said food.  And it will be great."  The pug laughs at my simpleness......and goes back to being the ugliest cute dog ever made.

How did this happen?  Just a few months ago, I was the man of the house.  I called the shots.  I had all the power.  Now the pug is in the passenger seat, while I'm hanging out the back window just happy to be in the car with my new owners.

A funny thing happens to us men when we learn about becoming a father for the first time.  Hundreds of books talk about what to do when the little one arrives. But there are very few that give us instructions prior to the baby's arrival.  My preggo partner now weilds all power.  And it's sexy.  And I can't help but smile over her strength, her calm, her cool.  Sex during pregnancy is safe, right?  They say the sex drive really picks up during the second trimester......hers too.  Her hair looks amazing.....and those definitely look bigger....God, how long has it been??  Maybe tonight is the night!!  

I move closer.

She looks at me out of the corner of her eye.

I put my arm around her.  Give her a kiss.  "How you feeling?"

"Pretty good", she says.

"Oh yea?" is the best line I come up with.

"Yea", she responds.

"Well...."  I inch closer......"Why don't we.....

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr.........

Damn you dog!  Damn you!!  He stares a hole right through me.  I stare back, as if it's a contest.  And I'm not blinking.  I consider jabbing him in the ribs, but realize that would ruin any chance of moving back into the starting lineup and scoring tonight.  She thinks he's being cute.....which means he wins.  Again.  And I go back to resuming my role as head chef/dog walker/errand boy.  I'm getting pretty good at this actually, and only five more months to go!!  I'm learning how to prepare for our growing, and sometimes growling, family - from the end of the bench.

Give Up To Go Up

Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, "As long as a man stands in his own way, everything seems to be in his way".  It's a humbling moment when one realizes that the person responsible for their current circumstances is the one staring back at them in the mirror.  Some learn this early.  Some need to be reminded.  And for some, unfortunately, they never quite learn this lesson.

When I was twenty years old, a mentor of mine sat me down and asked me to take out a pen and paper.  He then instructed me to draw a very large "T" on the sheet of paper.  On the top left he said to write, "Things I want".  On the top right I wrote, "Things I'll have to sacrifice or give up".

In his "Good 'ol Boy" drawl he said, "Bo, think carefully about what you want in life.  Be specific.  What type of car, how large of a house, how much money, etc. And write 'em down.  Now, on the other side, start thinking about the sacrifices you're gunna need to start makin' so you can get all them nice things!"

I started to have fun with this little drill.  I knew what I needed to do in order to accomplish my goals.....or so I thought.  When I was finished writing, the list of "what I want" was nearly three times as long as "what I was willing to sacrifice or give up".  He took one look at my list and said, "Bo, you got no chance".

I went on to learn that if we're not willing to list much on the right side of the page, we're not going to accomplish what we want on the left side.  This way of setting goals can help you immensely.  In order for us to go up, sometimes we need to give up.  What we need to decide from the onset is whether or not it's worth it.

For example:

Say you want to take your family on vacation to Europe.  You and your spouse are in total agreement, and are excited to start planning.  But, in order for you to afford to take this time off and pay for a lavish trip, you're going to have to start working more and saving for the next 90 days. It will require your spouse to pick up your slack in the form of cooking dinner, picking up and dropping off the kids, cleaning up, maybe missing a tee-ball game or dance recital.  Is it worth it??  Only you and your family can decide that one.

See, the idea of the vacation is great, but what comes after we make the decision is much more important.  The bigger the desire, the greater the sacrifices sometimes are.

If you want to live a healthier life, you're going to have to give up smoking and watching too much TV.  Is it worth it?  If you want to get out of debt, you're going to have to cut back on frivolous spending until you're back to even.  If you want your relationship to improve, you're going to have to push your ego and pride aside, and focus on the other person.

Someone always says there's a smarter, easier way to become successful.  The reason why people hate "Get Rich Quick" schemes is simple - they don't work.  Why would we despise something that worked and made everyone rich??  We need to pay the price, and enjoy the results.  Like Abe Lincoln said, "My father taught me how to work hard, not to love it."

That might just be good enough.  Fall in love with the results and accomplishments, and have enough industriousness to see it through.  Spend some time making your "T-List" and make sure that your goals and expectations are aligned.

What have you had to give up to go up??  How'd you see it through?? Was it worth it??

One Simple Step To Accomplishing 75% More In Life

Don't worry, I'm not going to package this as some "secret".  This isn't some mystical, mental internal message that you should serenade to yourself while sitting Indian-style on your roof during sunrise.  However, this one simple step is a step that only 2% of the population does, that helps you accomplish 75% more.  And it's a step that you've heard many times before.

When it comes to goal setting, the pen is mightier than the WORD.  Simply put, studies show that those who write their goals down are 75% more likely to accomplish them.

Simply writing them down, however, is not enough.  There are some additional steps that, if taken, will all but guarantee your success.

1 - Write clear, specific goals.  Creating crystal clear images of what you want stirs the soul into action.  To say, "I want to lose weight" isn't nearly good enough.  Write down how much weight you want to lose, and imagine what you'll look/feel like when that goal is reached.

2 - Put an action plan behind each goal.  One of my favorite quotes is by John Foster Dulles, who said, "The measure of success is not whether you have a tough problem to deal with, but whether it is the same problem you had last year." Figure out exactly what steps you need to take, daily, weekly and monthly in order to see it through.

3 - Share them with those closest to you.  Don't keep your goals a secret.  There are plenty of people who'd like to see us start succeeding beyond our current levels.  Clue them in, and don't be too proud to ask for support or advice.

4 - Review them regularly.  Keep your list of goals and plans in plain site.  Maybe on the bathroom mirror, or in the kitchen.  Anywhere that will work as a regular reminder of what your striving for.  It also gives you an opportunity to measure your progress on a frequent enough basis.  You don't want to go too long without making necessary adjustments.

5 - Discipline your disappointments.  Making a goal is easy, even exciting.  It puts us in a frame of mind of "what could be".  It's managing those decisions each day that's the work.  There will be push back, and resistance.  Don't quit, and keep the end in mind.  This is why having a deadline is so crucial to goal setting.  If there's no finish line, how do you know when the race is over??

Whether you're trying to lose weight, earn a promotion, save for retirement, buy a new car or home, putting your goals to paper will instantly increase your chances in bringing them to fruition.  One of the first steps we take with a new sales professional is what we call a "Blueprint".  It's a short list of questions that helps us figure out what their short-term and long term goals are, and what they are committing in order to reach those goals.  As long as your goals and commitments are aligned, nothing can stop you!