Not Getting What You Deserve

I've peed on the seat before.....honestly, I've missed the seat entirely a few times.

I've pretended that I didn't see the person rushing to make it onto the elevator, just so I didn't have to share a confined space with them. 

One time, a homeless guy was panhandling at an intersection while I was at a red light and I rolled down the window to give him a buck.  While he was limping over to the car, the light turned green, and I didn't feel like waiting......So I left him there without giving him the dollar.

Since becoming a father, I actually think an even larger percentage of babies are uglier than I did before.

I think fat people are funny.  Not just because they're fat, but in general.  They make me laugh.

I've blamed my cell phone provider for keeping me from having countless conversations with people I don't want to talk to.

I'm critical, sarcastic, impatient, and consider myself smarter and better looking then the majority of people I meet on a daily basis.  Unless you're an existing or potential client.  Then you're I consider you Ken Jennings and George Clooney's love child.

Everyone says, "Nobody is perfect".  That's me.  I'm not perfect, not even close.  I'm not a perfect father to our son.  I'm not a perfect employee to my company.  I'm not a perfect partner to my girlfriend.  Shit, sometimes I'm just downright bad at those things.

Yet, here I am in Norcross, GA (no offense, but why do you choose to live here?) on a work trip, thinking to myself about how lucky I am, in spite of myself.  I hear people bitch about not getting what they deserve, and if you really think about it, how many of us get EXACTLY what we deserve??  Probably very few, if any.  And if we did....we probably wouldn't want it.

In spite of my sarcasm, and urge to punch snow birds (elderly transplants, not an actual bird. - that would just be rude), I have a beautiful, hard working girlfriend that I don't always deserve.  A happy, healthy and perfect baby boy that I can't believe will call me daddy soon.  I have a job and all the opportunity in the world to better myself and my families quality of life. 

Instead of focusing on all we don't have, do what I do, try to be a little bit less of an asshole today, and stay grateful for all that you do have.  Cheers to not getting everything in life we actually deserve.

It's Just Toothpaste - Bottle-Necking My Relationships

How many of our "strengths" could also be viewed as "weaknesses"?  Are there beliefs or ideals in our lives that we wear like badges of honor, that should probably be treated as scarlet letters?

I'm stubborn - to say the least.  In business, that can (sometimes) be very beneficial.  It helps me to hold onto my strongest pursuits, in spite of any difficulties or challenges.  It keeps me steadfast at times where it's crucial that I not give up.

However, the same traits that are (in my opinion) helping me grow professionally, can really screw things up personally.  Glen Beaman once said, "Stubbornness does have its helpful features.  You always know what you're going to be thinking tomorrow." - That's not good, by the way.

Let's say you possess a strong work ethic, for example.  This positive habit has served you well in the work place.  But the higher you advance in your career, the larger the toll it takes on your relationship with your family, and maybe even your health.  The same things that bring you up in one area, can bring you down in another.

I'm finding that being stubborn can really stunt the growth of a relationship.  I'm quick to argue - sometimes over meaningless things - just to prove a point.  Add to that the fact that I'm a Leo, and what you get is someone who is up for a fight, and rarely willing to back down.  Add another Leo into the mix, and you get a relationship that sometimes feels like its strapped to a case of C-4, with each of us holding a match saying, "You think I wont???"

The best way I can describe my personality is with the classic Clint Eastwood as Dirty Harry clip, where he says, "Go ahead, make my day."

I've literally just finished Googling "how to stop being a stubborn boyfriend" - which yielded 4,360,000 results - none of which were helpful.  The first step towards change is admitting you have a problem.  Listen, I have a problem, and I'm as aware of it as the people it effects.  But what to do??

The easy answer is to start backing down, be more humble, less aggressive and take a back seat approach.  They say men don't change, and that women shouldn't expect them to.  I couldn't agree less with such an age old adage.  I believe the right people, in the right situation, will willingly change, for the BETTER, for one another.  One of my favorite sayings is, "You take care of you for me, and I'll take care of me for you."

This is my attempt to "Take care of me".  Apologizing would be so easy, if I just didn't have to say "I'm sorry".  Arguing would seem so much less appealing, if I didn't feel like I needed to "win" at everything.  Making a meaningless point wouldn't be important, if I didn't care about the score.

Obviously I have a lot to think about, and even more to learn.  But how many of us have held onto traits that really only hold us back?  Sure it effects us individually, but it also has a significant impact on those closest to us.  I'm learning, albeit slowly and painfully, that I need to stop competing, and start completing.  Squeezing the toothpaste from the middle of the tube, in the grand scheme of things, isn't a big deal, right?  And I'm learning to not care about the score, and just enjoy how lucky I am to be playing the game with someone who makes me better.  I'd rather concede and be the happiest man and father alive, than be conceited and alone.

Right vs. Might - Being Competitive in the "Right" Way

Are successful people more competitive than the average person?  Do they have this "refuse to lose" type attitude that drives them to work harder and sacrifice more?  I'm picturing Ricky Bobby (Will Ferrell) when his father tells him, "If you aint first, you're last!", as a youngster in the movie Talladega Nights.

I remember, growing up, having this feeling that if I lost in athletics, trying your "best" didn't really matter - regardless of what the coaches would say.  Either you were a winner, and came out on top, or you lost, and were on the bottom.  It got me to thinking, at what point does being overly-competitive become a detriment to your success?  The more I thought about it, the more I realized its not about being "too competitive", it's about being competitive in the "right" areas.

Striving To Be The Best


If I could go back, I wouldn't strive to be the best athlete on my high school basketball team.  I would strive to be the best teammate.  It's one thing to score the most points, or win awards. But if it's at the detriment to the team, it's counterproductive and purposeless.  Make it your goal to make those around you better.

In business, striving to be the best is a tremendous attribute to have.  That competitive drive is a trait I personally look for when conducting interviews and bringing in new sales professionals.  But, if I could go back, I wouldn't strive to make the most sales, or the most money.  I would strive to be the best manager, co-worker and adviser to my clients.  Focusing purely on the numbers will cause you to lose sight of the people around you.  In the end, it's our customers and colleagues that are the catalyst to our success.

In relationships, do you need to be in control?  If there's an argument do you need to "win"?  I know I used to feel that way.  Yet, with every argument "won", all I was doing was driving a bigger wedge between myself and the other individual.  The best way I know how to describe it is similar to a boxing match.  One fighter has the championship belt, the other is trying to become the champion.  Both fight valiantly, yet the fight ends in a draw.  The winner isn't satisfied with his title defense, because he didn't win outright.  The challenger, still has no belt.  Nobody wins.

Being competitive is a great quality to have, but if you find yourself flipping over scrabble boards or alienating friends and co-workers, it might be time to take a step back.  Don't take flag football too seriously, and these parents that are getting into fist fights at there kids sporting events should be left on a deserted island somewhere.

Look for a way to strive to be the best at bettering those around you.  As the old saying goes, "A rising tide raises ALL ships."

Making Yourself Unforgettable

Selling is everything.  And everything is selling.  It's all around us, in every interaction, in every relationship, all of the time.  We're selling ourselves to a potential employer.  We're hired, and then we're selling our services to a potential client.  We work long hours, come home, and sell ourselves to our spouses on why we're home late.  Literally, every interaction is a version of a "sales call".  I sell, you sell, we all sell.

There's a good possibility that upon reading that YOU are selling yourself every single day, you felt a little gross - uncomfortable - maybe even slimy.  Here's why;  people love to buy, but hate to be sold.  The word "selling" carries this notion that someone was taken advantage of.  Being a sales professional myself, I'm quite aware of the negative weight that word carries.

Call it what you want, you're selling yourself.  Whether it's in a professional setting, trying to influence your ideas and beliefs to your boss or the company.  Or, in a more personal setting.  Maybe trying to sell your girlfriend or boyfriend on your future together.  Or your kids on studying more, or cleaning their rooms.

This is an area of my life that I find myself focusing on quite often as of late.  How well I can convey a message can make or break a relationship, a sale, an idea, etc.  Some are simple, yet rarely is it easy.

A friend of the family asked me the other day, "What is your purpose for writing?  What's your goal?"  I thought about it, and came to the conclusion that it's my personal platform to sell my ideas, beliefs, lessons learned through successes and failures, and daily challenges to the world.  Long answer, but that's the purpose.  Again, how well I do at selling the aforementioned will determine whether or not you continue to read, or I become a forgettable blogger.

Areas where making yourself unforgettable are key:

- Relationships:  whether it's with a spouse, partner, friend or family member - the strongest relationships will be the ones you invest the greatest amount of your attention, time and creativity in.  My personal goal:  be the worlds greatest son, brother, boyfriend and boss.  That's not easy - but it's worth it.

- Profession:  with unemployment at over 10%, and, in reality, probably closer to 15% nationwide you can no longer afford to be average or ordinary.  You need to stand out, and in a big way.  If you think that fancy card stock you put your resume on is enough, think again.  Even if you DO land the job, employers no longer have to "tolerate" mediocrity.  The talent pool is flush with individuals ready for you to slip, so they can slip in.

- Business:  things change so fast, you can't even be wrong for too long these days.  Clients are being tugged and pulled in all different directions by companies vying for their attention.  What are you doing to acquire more clients, and keep the ones you have?

Making yourself unforgettable is a big piece of the success puzzle, in my opinion.  It's also something that requires continuous effort.  Your spouse probably doesn't care about the flowers you bought them last year, or the card you gave them last V-Day.  Just like your boss probably already forgot about the overtime you put in last month.  Every day is a new opportunity to sell yourself to those around you.  Don't be afraid to strut your stuff, and watch as the people around you begin "buying" you in a big way!

Failure To Communicate

"What we've got here is a failure to communicate." ~ Cool Hand Luke (1967)

Add that to the list of famous lines that I use from movies created before I was put on this earth.  Just as that phrase has stood the test of time, so will our inability to accurately communicate everything we experience on a daily basis.  It's very difficult to truly be able to share what we're feeling inside with someone else.  It's like WE know what we're trying to say, but like a "male plug" into a "female socket", we can't make the connection.  Here's some more proof:

Actual writings on hospital charts
- "She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states that she was very hot in bed last night."
- "Patient says she has chest pain if she lays on her side for over a year."
- "On the second day the knee was better, and on the third it disappeared."
- "The patient is tearful and crying constantly.  She also appears to be depressed."
- "The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993."
- "Discharge Status:  Alive, but without my permission."
- "Patient had waffles for breakfast, and anorexia for lunch."
- "She is numb from the toes down."
- "Patient was alert and unresponsive."

Being able to effectively communicate how your feeling can not only increase the quality of your relationships, it can also, apparently, save your life.  There's nothing more frustrating than not being able to convey your feelings properly.  A big reason why it's so challenging:  there are two minds involved.

It takes us, as individuals, some amount of time to be able to process feelings, moods, experiences, circumstances, successes, losses, etc.  We have thousands upon thousands of thoughts going through our minds a day, and hardly enough time to figure out how we feel about each one of them individually.  As if that wasn't enough, we're then expected to be able to communicate these feelings with those closest to us, in our personal lives, and also our workplace.

Unless you're a tollbooth operator, your likely have an opinion valued by more than a few people.  Being able to communicate these opinions can be improved by following these seven steps:

1 - Be articulate:  Speak clearly, avoid mumbling, use simple, straight-forward words.
2 - Listen actively:  Communicating is a two-way street
3 - Be confident
4 - Be interesting:  listeners will reciprocate your emotions - show excitement, get excitement
5 - Stay on topic
6 - Use facial expressions consciously
7 - Communicate eye-to-eye

I can't guarantee this will save relationships or get you that next promotion, but it certainly can't hurt.

"I went to the bookstore and asked the salesperson, "Where's the self-help section?".  She said she'd like to help me, but if she did, it would defeat the purpose."

Give A Little, Get A Lot

Love is like....well.....it's kinda like......Chinese water torture.  But in a totally good way!  Obviously I'm not Dr. Phil, so let me try to explain myself....

Seemingly small, yet thoughtful gestures, can make a huge impact on your relationship over time.  We've all heard the saying "small things can add up", and it's more than true when it comes to relationships, of all types.  But especially when its with that special someone in your life.

I use to think that I needed to hit a "grand slam" with every gift I gave, or interaction I had, with my sweetheart.  First, it's not possible.  Secondly, I was placing too much unnecessary pressure on myself.  And finally, it seemed that the smaller gestures, that I often took for granted, or didn't think she really noticed, seemed to make the biggest impact.

After an arguement, a husband said to his wife, "You know what!? I was a FOOL when I married you!" She replied, "Yes, dear, but I was young and in love, and didn't notice."

Now most of you out there have more experience being "in love" in your pinky nail than I do through my entire make up.  But I found that even in our working relationships, people tend to work harder for PRAISES than for RAISES.  Being able to recognize and reward someone who goes out of there way, or does the right thing, or does something selfless, is a major step  towards creating healthy relationships.  Simply put, if you want more of a particular attitude or action around your work environment, start promoting and acknowledging it when it happens.

Its like training killer whales.  Ok, ok - I know I've now compared relationships to Chinese water torture and killer whales, but hear me out.  To train killer whales, they only reward and recognize them for doing what they WANT them to do.  They don't punish or condemn them.  Relationships are the same way.  Dale Carnegie said "In order for others to do what we want them to do, they must want to do it."  Point being, if we want to see more positive things coming our way from those nearest, we have to put them in a position to WANT to do it.

So, guys - open the car door, brush your teeth, iron your shirt, kiss her goodnight, make her dinner, leave her notes, buy her flowers, put the seat down, and make her a horribly corny mixtape if that's what she wants.  Ladies - compliment your guy for trying, unlock his side of the car door, brush your teeth, dress sexy for no reason, kiss him goodnight, leave him notes, and make him feel like a superhero.  Thanks babe!

The Greatest Things Men Will Never Hear....

- Shouldn't you be at the bar with your buddies, dear?
- You're so sexy when you're hung over!
- If it's ok with you, I'd rather watch football today than go to the mall.
- I love it when you play golf on Sunday's.....I just wish you were able to play on Saturday's too.
- Your mother is so much better than mine!
- Do me a favor and skip this whole Valentines Day thing - go out and buy yourself some new clubs!
- Do you mind if I take the car in for an oil change this weekend?

What does this have to do with anything?  Not sure exactly, but I thought they were funny.....and this is about a quarter of what I actually read.  Most were slightly more "explicit" than the ones listed above.

It did make me think about the difference between the "Golden Rule" and the "Platinum Rule".  Most of us know of the Golden Rule - treat others how you would want to be treated.  It's a great rule, and will, no doubt, strengthen most of your relationships.

However, to take it to the next level, you must learn the Platinum Rule - treat others how THEY would want to be treated.  One thing that I've learned since working with so many different types of professionals, is that we're all different.  That goes for the workplace, and in our personal relationships as well.  Not to get too personal, but I've come to learn that there are certain things that I might be "ok" with that my significant other might take exception to - and vice-versa.

If I want that, or any relationship, to reach it's full potential, I need to be aware of how I'm treating the other person, and look at it more selflessly.  Sympathy means you can understand why they're feeling a certain way.  While empathy means you can relate to how they're feeling, because you yourself have felt that way.  It's a much deeper sense of feeling.  Obviously we're not always going to be able to show empathy, but when you can, you must!

Sometimes, because we've never walked in the other persons shoes before, we just aren't entirely sure when we toe the line, or in some cases cross it.  But, by not allowing yourself to hold a grudge, you always give yourself an opportunity to learn exactly where the other person is coming from.

If you have any past issues or grudges with someone in your life that you care about, revisit that relationship, and try to get a better understanding of how THEY want to be treated.  If it's within reason, and you're able to empathize with them, then mend that relationship and move on, together.

Us men, on the other hand, are naturally oblivious towards womens feelings.  We have as much of a chance of understanding women as we do reading Latin or teaching quantum physics.

So, I probably won some guys over with the statement above, as well as put added fear into any womens relationship.  Here's the good news - it's bullshit.  We're not oblivious, not all of us anyway.  The ones that don't care CHOOSE to be oblivious.  A relationship with your wife, girlfriend, boyfriend, boss, neighbor or all of the above (not sure if that's even technically possible), is completely dependent on your ability to connect with that person.

If you don't put in the effort to connect with the other individual, than you'll be doomed to sub-par and unfulfilling relationships that rarely reach their full potential, regardless of who's on the other end.  Trust me, I don't have this all figured out, and there are times where I still feel like I am from Mars. But, if I'm willing to learn about what actually goes on over there in Venus, then I begin to stack the odds in my favor.  In the meantime.....here's hoping we'll hear "No, no, no....go back inside, let me mow the lawn honey!"

Right Thing, Wrong Place - Getting Out of Balance

One of my favorite Andy Warhol quotes is, "I like to be the right thing in the wrong place, and the wrong thing in the right place.  Being the right thing in the wrong place and the wrong thing in the right place is worth it because something interesting always happens."


I'm often asked by our sales professionals, and even more so by our managers, about "balance".  "The bigger my team/business/responsibilities become, the harder it is to balance everything" is a common concern of professionals.  I also spend a lot of time talking and writing about the importance of living a balanced life when it comes to success.  I refer to it often as "The Four Cornerstones of Successful Living"

1) Health
2) Wealth
3) Profession & Purpose
4) Relationships

Success in one area does not equal success in other or all areas.  I truly believe that you need to focus your attention and energy in each of those areas in order to live a truly fulfilling life.  However, if we took each of those four "cornerstones" and focused on them individually, the subject of "balance" takes on a whole new meaning.

When I'm working with a sales professional or manager in a particular area of our business, which applies to most businesses, the fear of being unbalanced frequently comes up.  I hear things like, "I'm having a hard time trying to balance all of my responsibilities."  So, I ask a few questions, figure out where they are professionally, and how their business is progressing.  After a little digging, I come up with an answer that probably surprises the majority of the individuals on the receiving end.

I really believe that if you're in a "rut" professionally or even personally in life, you don't need to focus on getting better balance in that particular area.  What may most likely be the answer is getting OUT of balance.  I guess that's the same thing as suggesting we do something completely different from what we did to bring about our current circumstances.  Too many of us have gotten way too comfortable with our situations.

Having both feet planted firmly on the ground will not help if you happen to be standing in shit right now.  You need to MOVE, and the fact remains that most people are more comfortable with old problems than new solutions.  Getting completely out of balance, for even a short period of time, might completely change your perspective and help you see a problem from a new point of view.

When I read that Andy Warhol quote it reminds me that we spend sooooo much time trying to figure out how to be the "right" person at the "right" time, in the "right" place.  Well, you might as well be waiting for the stars to align themselves, ducks to get in a row, all of your fires to be put out, and bridges to be burned.  Give it up. Stop with the cheesy cliches.  It's not going to happen.....ever.  The timing will never be just right, and change is going to be uncomfortable.....probably painfully uncomfortable at times.

We all know the definition of insanity is doing the same things over and over again and expecting different results.  Tired of your relationships falling apart? Try something drastically different.  Feel like your health is heading in the wrong direction?  Start a training regimen completely different from what you've been doing. We need that resistance in order for us to grow.  The "one-step back, two steps forward" approach is  better than "one step back, one step back, one step back, one step...." you get the idea.

Go get uncomfortably out of balance in an area you feel you're falling short in.

Similar to "muscle confusion" when working out, a new way or approach towards a problem might be the answer!

The Speed of Light.....

....is faster than the speed of sound.  Which is why some people seem bright, until they speak.

It's not just about what you say, but how you say it.  However, what we're saying may not be helping our cause either.  In four years of building my business, one of the most important skills that I've had to learn had little to do with speaking, and nearly everything to do with listening.

Learning about someone or getting to know them is a futile effort if we can't keep our traps shut.  Success in business boils down to relationships.  Successful relationships boils down to your ability to connect with the other person.  Connections begin and end with listening.  The old saying goes, "God made us with two ears and one mouth for a reason".

"We aren't in the coffee business, serving people.  We're in the people business, serving coffee."
      ~ Nabi Saleh (co-owner of Gloria Jeans Coffees)

We process thoughts at about ten times the speed we're able to voice them.  A large part of connecting with people has to do with quieting our minds, and giving our full attention to them.  That means; not thinking about our response; taking in the entire conversation; letting it process and putting yourself in their shoes; showing empathy for their situation.  It's not easy, and it certainly takes practice.

Near the top of my list of "Annoying Personal Habits I Need To Nix" was - always giving my opinion after the other individual was through speaking.  Sometimes people want advice.  Sometimes they just want to vent.  You'll know when your two cents are warranted and when you need to just lend an ear.

Becoming a better listener allows you to:
- Build better, stronger relationships
- Learn and retain more information
- Show a genuine interest in others
- Avoid miscommunication and save time
- Build self-esteem in others

The only time selective hearing or miscommunicating works to your benefit:

Morris, an 82 year old man, went to the doctors to get a physical.  A few days later the doctor noticed Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.  Later that week the doctor phoned Morris and said, "Morris, I saw you walking down the street the other day and you seemed to be in such great spirits!"  Morris says, "Thanks Doc, just doing what you said: Get a hot momma and be cheerful."  The doctor says, "I didn't say that.  I said you have a heart murmur, be careful."

In John Maxwell's "Everyone Communicates, Few Connect" he references three questions that people are frequently asking about you:

1. Do you care for me?
2. Can you help me?
3. Can I trust you?

To connect more with others whether at your workplace, home, community, church, etc. become a world-class listener, find out what others are truly interested in by asking more questions, listen more, and work on giving your advice and opinions at the right time or when asked.  Just another one of those principles that sound easy, and are anything but that.  It takes patience and practice.  The positive is that you'll start seeing immediate improvements in your ability to connect with others, and your efforts will not go unnoticed!

The Most Interesting Man In The World

My favorite commercial running right now is the Dos Equis "Most Interesting Man In The World" commercials.  The one liners are hysterical.  The actor is perfect.  The videos are randomly hilarious.  It works.  Period.

What does "TMIMITW" (sorry it's way too long to type repeatedly) have to do with anything?  Well, beyond the actor himself, the commercials are memorable.  In today's challenging and competitive marketplace its ALL about being remembered, and making an impression.  Dale Carnegie has an amazing audio program that anyone, from any walk of life or profession could benefit from, titled "Make Yourself Unforgettable".

Yesterday I posted a blog on what I considered to be the "Four Cornerstones of a Successful Life" :

1. Health
2. Wealth
3. Career and Purpose
4. Relationship

....not in that particular order.  To improve in these areas, there are two approaches we can take; first, start doing something, consciously, in each of those four areas that will have a positive impact on them. Secondly, figure out what you should STOP doing in those areas that would also have a positive impact on them.  We spend so much time thinking about what "new" direction we can head in.  Sometimes it's not about something that you could be doing that you're not. It may be more about something you're already doing, that you need to stop.

I want to be memorable in the most important areas of living a successful life.  I hope, that when my time on Earth is up, those who knew me, and knew of me, say things like.....

"If he were to pat you on the back, you would list it on your resume."

"He's won trophies for his game face alone."

"His parents were named after him."

"He's won the lifetime achievement award.....twice."

"He is the life of parties he's never even attended."

"If he were to punch you in the face, you'd have to fight off the urge to thank him."

"His beard alone has experienced more than a lesser mans body."

"He can clean soap with his hands."

"His personality is so magnetic, he is unable to carry credit cards."

"He never says anything tastes like chicken......not even chicken."

"He is the only person to ever ace a Rorschach Test."

"He's a lover, not a fighter.  But he's also a fighter....so don't get any ideas."

"People hang on his every word.....even the prepositions."

 "Even his enemies list him as their emergency contact person."

"He speaks fluent French, in Russian."

"His charm is so contagious, vaccines were created for it."

"He lives vicariously  through himself."

"He's been known to cure narcolepsy just by walking into a room."

"He once compared apples to oranges, and it resulted in a very popular adult beverage."

"He once thought he was wrong.....that was the only time he was wrong."

"The contents of his taco refuse to fall out."

In no way is this meant to be "preachy".....I write this for me, because I can internalize it when I write it, read it and share it.  If you take anything at all from any of this, I'm glad I shared.

Like Shooting Crabs In a Bucket

It's doubtful any person alive today has actually ever shot "fish in barrel", but it's very likely that you've had an itch to shoot crabs in a bucket.  Confused?  That's natural.  As was I, so let me explain....

The idea is that when you throw a bunch of crabs in a bucket, all of them will try to climb out.  In doing so, they only end up pulling each other back down into the bucket, preventing any of them from reaching the top.  The connection has been made between crabs in a bucket and office environments for decades.

I think it also extends to other areas of life, outside of the workplace, and when it comes to most of our relationships.  John Maxwell describes this as "the elevator principal".  Every person you come in contact with has the ability to either lift you up, or bring you down.  As do you and I.  Another analogy is that we each have a bucket (this one being crab-less), and this bucket is full of water.  Every interaction you have gives the other individual the opportunity to either add water, or subtract water.

So why would you want to shoot crabs in a bucket?  Because they, whether knowingly or unknowingly, refuse to allow others around them to succeed and reach the top.  We all know misery loves company, but those of us seeking success can't stand the negative nay-sayers of the world, and there's times we'd rather see them belly up next to a side of melted butter.

Its been said that five years from now we will be an accumulation of; the books we read; the programs and seminars we listen to or attend; and the people we surround ourselves with.  In order to achieve and accomplish more we must distance ourselves from these complaining crustaceans.  Some of you may be in a position where you simply have no other option but to interact with crabs on a regular basis, say at your workplace.

You have two options:  help them get better, or you get better.  Only you can decide how much you're willing to invest in another co-worker.  If you feel that by attempting to transform this crab into an angel fish, you'll help better the company, as well as feel good about helping someone, then go for it!  If you feel you'd be taking away from what you should be doing, or that they're not willing to change themselves anyway, get to shooting!  Not literally, of course.....just focus your energy and efforts on yourself, and continuing to improve your skill-sets and attitude.

We need to be aware of who we're surrounding ourselves with, outside of work as well.  There may be people in your life, going nowhere, and are perfectly content being bottom-feeders the rest of their lives.  Let them do that, let them be.  But do not allow them to throw their anchor into your ship.  They're not going to  take much satisfaction in your accomplishments anyway, and as difficult as it may be, it will be better for you in the long run to just cut bait.

Ok, so it's way too early in the morning for me to be craving seafood.  Is it weird that I'm wearing a bib as  I type this?  Sure, shooting fish in a barrel is suppose to be easy, but shooting crabs in a bucket is much more rewarding.  Happy hunting!

In no way is this meant to be "preachy".....I write this for me, because I can internalize it when I write it, read it and share it.  If you take anything at all from any of this, I'm glad I shared

A Short Course In Human Relations

Ahhhh, Saturday.  A day meant for relaxation and recharging.....theoretically.  Normally by now I'm head first in the middle of some business/motivational/leadership book making over-embellished claims of changing my life and everything and everyone that crosses my path.

So as I sit here waiting on my girlfriend to finish getting ready for an engagement party we're attending (like I said....theoretically), I started thinking of what the best bit of advice was that I took from a book over this past week, that we could all put into play immediately.

The more I read and study people, the more I realize that success, more or less, all boils down to relationships and our ability to influence others.  This posting from John Maxwell's Relationships 101 resonated as much as anything I came across this week.

A short course in human relations:

The least important word: I
The most important word: WE
The two most important words: THANK YOU
The three most important words: ALL IS FORGIVEN
The four most important words: WHAT IS YOUR OPINION?
The five most important words: YOU DID A GOOD JOB
The six most important words: I WANT TO UNDERSTAND YOU BETTER

In no way is this meant to be "preachy".....I write this for me, because I can internalize it when I write it, read it and share it.  If you take anything at all from any of this, I'm glad I shared.