Friday, September 30, 2011

The First 48

My favorite animal is pork.  Followed closely by steak.  Though I despise salad, I will eat rabbit.

Friday has gone from "good Friday" to GREAT FRIDAY, since moving in with my girlfriend.  Not only does she have a career, but she also has a job Monday through Friday that consists of working out, and eating food with negative calories, and drinking diet water.  I fully support her decisions, the only problem for me personally is that health food makes me sick.  See the irony there?

So, the agreement is Friday and Saturday is dedicated as "we will eat whatever the hell we want" days.  Not sure if this is celebrated and recognized in other households, but it should be.  We both work our asses off, professionally and physically, to be able to thoroughly enjoy these 48 hours.  Have you ever tried to take a dogs food away in the middle of them devouring it??  Yup, that's us come Friday night.  So, to all waiters and waitresses out there.....fair warning, we are NOT done with that yet!!

Anyone who knows me, knows of my affinity to food.  Not just any food, but mind-blowing and knee weakening food.  Food that's so amazing that the second it touches your taste buds, if a passerby took one look at your face, even they would know that whatever it is you just shoved in your mouth must be delicious.

I'm a food whore and a food snob.....but of the more sophisticated and classy type.  I wont eat just anything, I have way too much self respect.  You probably wont see me eating in any sketchy neighborhoods, and I will never do it in the that is.  Unfortunately there are other people in my life that have been sucked into a life of drive-thrus (which is so wrong, they refused to spell it correctly) , dollar menus and unprotected dining.

I'm not sure where or when exactly they fell off the wagon and starting accepting a life of at-risk appetizers, but it needs to stop.  I have some modest goals in life: build a successful business, fall in love, start a family, see the world, and convert every person addicted to anything that can be ordered by a number over to the good side.

Not sure which side you're on?  Easy.  How often do you order a meal with at least one of the following words in the title:  cheezy, beefy, double, triple, pounder, monster, Mc(fill in the blank), saucy, whopper, or super?

I know, I know, you're busy and it's cheap.  Stop it!  Your stomach deserves better, and there are some amazing deals out there.  Just check out!

Just because your parents force fed you pot roast 6 days a week, doesn't mean you have to accept a life of consuming slop wrapped in recycled paper.  I beg you, put an end to eating hot garbage that can be ordered by a number, and then trying to convince us foodies that it's actually "good" and you're happy with ordering a "Triple Cheezy McShitty-Melt".  You sound like how Charlie Sheen sounds when he's trying to convince us he's not on drugs.  It's crazy talk, and we know better.  We know the signs.  And I'm not above staging an intervention if I consider you a friend.  And if I don't consider you a friend, well, I hear the Five Buck Box at Taco Bell is AMAZING!!!!  ENJOY!!!!

In no way is this meant to be "preachy".....I write this for me, because I can internalize it when I write it, read it and share it.  If you take anything at all from any of this, I'm glad I shared

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