The amount of info that begins to clutter your mind once entering the parenting universe makes you feel like a mental hoarder. It's real, and we're aware there's a lot of crap piling up. We do our best to act like its really not that bad, but internally we're panicking about where to even start.
And a little voice in the back of our mind asks, "How did it get THIS bad?" or "You didn't know this was a problem?"
Moms-to-be, listen carefully - It's not that we're not listening to you, its just that we're trying to listen to you AND ourselves, at the same time.
Not sure if your guy is engaged in a mental tug-of- war with himself?? Here's an easy way to find out: Start talking to him about the baby shower and/or redecorating the baby's room, then, out of nowhere, ask him what he thinks.....
If he straightens up, starts oddly touching his own face, avoiding eye-contact, and says, "Uh, whatever you want babe"....he's not all there.
We're excited....and confused. Almost in equal amounts.
Some of the Sh*t First Time Fathers Say/Think would include, but are not limited to:
- What in the world is maple-syrup urine disorder?
- "So how long after the baby is born before we can, you know....?"
- Does the hospital have free wi-fi?
- I wish they sold diapers by the pound
- "What do you mean we have to point "it" down??"
- "So how much longer before we can, you know...?"
- Where can I get an infant sized tuxedo?
- Is it legal to pump in public?
- Is it still organic if its not certified?
- "So what exactly is cord blood, and why does it cost that much?"
- "Yea, of course I think a baby wipe warmer is a necessity"
- I think my son would win the Hunger Games
- I'll just sleep when he naps
- "Lactation class?? Yea, I'd love to go with you to that!"
- "Was that him kicking? What about that? Was that it? There? How about now?"
- "Of course I'll make you pancakes, won-ton soup and ice cream for dinner!"
- "Are you sure it hasn't been six weeks yet??"
What are some impossible, funny, ridiculous things you thought or said as a debut daddy!!??