Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Pointless Parenting Advice

A-holes are like advice for new parents.....or is it advice for new parents are like A-holes....??  I guess it doesn't really matter, either way, everyone has advice, most of which is either obvious, or total crap.

Don't get me wrong, I'm no expert.  I certainly don't know everything, or what to expect when our little guy arrives.  But, unless you're a doctor, Super Nanny, Jesus, or we seek you out personally for information - keep it to yourself.

I'm sure all parents, especially new ones, can relate to what we're going through. The abundance of unwarranted advice from every family member, neighbor and even random passerby when they learn you're expecting is causing me to feel colicky.

Your knowledge and skill sets do NOT grow in direct proportion to the number of children you have.  See:  Octomom/Duggar Family.  Oh, you have 3 kids!  That's so great. I'm happy for you and your family, I really am.  But, if you tell me one more time about how I'm probably not going to get as much sleep I'm probably going to kick you in the throat.  I'm aware.  And, more importantly, I don't care!

We're excited.  Better yet, we're elated.  As happy as we've ever been in our lives.  A feeling that will probably only be surpassed by the baby actually being here.  The same one that we are totally aware is going to shit, eat, sleep, cry, not sleep, shit some more, grow up, turn into a teenager, etc, etc, etc. And we can't wait.

We know there will be ups, and most certainly downs.  That's not just parenting.  That's life.

Maybe I just don't like negativity.  Maybe writing about how much I hate negative people is hypocritical. Not sure.  What I am sure of though is that I didn't need to be told that I will need to buy a lot of diapers, how much they cost, that breastfeeding is healthier, that touching a hot stove will burn them, and that a car seat needs to be installed properly.

So, unless you are solicited for specific advice or an opinion, feel free to just give us that look of "you have no idea what you're in for", mentally shake your head at us, and say something positive, like, "You guys are going to be great parents.  Cheers!"

I'd gladly take fake reassurance over another comment about how my golf game is going to take a hit for the remainder of the pregnancy.

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