Thursday, October 27, 2011

Give A Little, Get A Lot

Love is's kinda like......Chinese water torture.  But in a totally good way!  Obviously I'm not Dr. Phil, so let me try to explain myself....

Seemingly small, yet thoughtful gestures, can make a huge impact on your relationship over time.  We've all heard the saying "small things can add up", and it's more than true when it comes to relationships, of all types.  But especially when its with that special someone in your life.

I use to think that I needed to hit a "grand slam" with every gift I gave, or interaction I had, with my sweetheart.  First, it's not possible.  Secondly, I was placing too much unnecessary pressure on myself.  And finally, it seemed that the smaller gestures, that I often took for granted, or didn't think she really noticed, seemed to make the biggest impact.

After an arguement, a husband said to his wife, "You know what!? I was a FOOL when I married you!" She replied, "Yes, dear, but I was young and in love, and didn't notice."

Now most of you out there have more experience being "in love" in your pinky nail than I do through my entire make up.  But I found that even in our working relationships, people tend to work harder for PRAISES than for RAISES.  Being able to recognize and reward someone who goes out of there way, or does the right thing, or does something selfless, is a major step  towards creating healthy relationships.  Simply put, if you want more of a particular attitude or action around your work environment, start promoting and acknowledging it when it happens.

Its like training killer whales.  Ok, ok - I know I've now compared relationships to Chinese water torture and killer whales, but hear me out.  To train killer whales, they only reward and recognize them for doing what they WANT them to do.  They don't punish or condemn them.  Relationships are the same way.  Dale Carnegie said "In order for others to do what we want them to do, they must want to do it."  Point being, if we want to see more positive things coming our way from those nearest, we have to put them in a position to WANT to do it.

So, guys - open the car door, brush your teeth, iron your shirt, kiss her goodnight, make her dinner, leave her notes, buy her flowers, put the seat down, and make her a horribly corny mixtape if that's what she wants.  Ladies - compliment your guy for trying, unlock his side of the car door, brush your teeth, dress sexy for no reason, kiss him goodnight, leave him notes, and make him feel like a superhero.  Thanks babe!

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