Tuesday, October 25, 2011

The Greatest Things Men Will Never Hear....

- Shouldn't you be at the bar with your buddies, dear?
- You're so sexy when you're hung over!
- If it's ok with you, I'd rather watch football today than go to the mall.
- I love it when you play golf on Sunday's.....I just wish you were able to play on Saturday's too.
- Your mother is so much better than mine!
- Do me a favor and skip this whole Valentines Day thing - go out and buy yourself some new clubs!
- Do you mind if I take the car in for an oil change this weekend?

What does this have to do with anything?  Not sure exactly, but I thought they were funny.....and this is about a quarter of what I actually read.  Most were slightly more "explicit" than the ones listed above.

It did make me think about the difference between the "Golden Rule" and the "Platinum Rule".  Most of us know of the Golden Rule - treat others how you would want to be treated.  It's a great rule, and will, no doubt, strengthen most of your relationships.

However, to take it to the next level, you must learn the Platinum Rule - treat others how THEY would want to be treated.  One thing that I've learned since working with so many different types of professionals, is that we're all different.  That goes for the workplace, and in our personal relationships as well.  Not to get too personal, but I've come to learn that there are certain things that I might be "ok" with that my significant other might take exception to - and vice-versa.

If I want that, or any relationship, to reach it's full potential, I need to be aware of how I'm treating the other person, and look at it more selflessly.  Sympathy means you can understand why they're feeling a certain way.  While empathy means you can relate to how they're feeling, because you yourself have felt that way.  It's a much deeper sense of feeling.  Obviously we're not always going to be able to show empathy, but when you can, you must!

Sometimes, because we've never walked in the other persons shoes before, we just aren't entirely sure when we toe the line, or in some cases cross it.  But, by not allowing yourself to hold a grudge, you always give yourself an opportunity to learn exactly where the other person is coming from.

If you have any past issues or grudges with someone in your life that you care about, revisit that relationship, and try to get a better understanding of how THEY want to be treated.  If it's within reason, and you're able to empathize with them, then mend that relationship and move on, together.

Us men, on the other hand, are naturally oblivious towards womens feelings.  We have as much of a chance of understanding women as we do reading Latin or teaching quantum physics.

So, I probably won some guys over with the statement above, as well as put added fear into any womens relationship.  Here's the good news - it's bullshit.  We're not oblivious, not all of us anyway.  The ones that don't care CHOOSE to be oblivious.  A relationship with your wife, girlfriend, boyfriend, boss, neighbor or all of the above (not sure if that's even technically possible), is completely dependent on your ability to connect with that person.

If you don't put in the effort to connect with the other individual, than you'll be doomed to sub-par and unfulfilling relationships that rarely reach their full potential, regardless of who's on the other end.  Trust me, I don't have this all figured out, and there are times where I still feel like I am from Mars. But, if I'm willing to learn about what actually goes on over there in Venus, then I begin to stack the odds in my favor.  In the meantime.....here's hoping we'll hear "No, no, no....go back inside, let me mow the lawn honey!"

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